Black Guys Can’t Date

I hope I’m not crucified for this.  But I need to get something off of my chest – black guys can’t date.  This is quite a shame since there are a lot of attractive black men in my favorite online dating sites.  It’s not a racist thing.  I have a lot of black friends.  One of my best friends is black.  But now, it’s quite obvious why we’ve remained as friends.

I’ve been told by my friends that it’s not a good idea to date black guys.  They’re speaking from personal experience.  Now, I didn’t take this as Gospel truth.  In fact, it piqued my interest.  So when an attractive black man approached me in a bar that I always go to, I immediately planned a “case study”.

Let’s call him Jacob.  Jacob’s off to a great start.  He had a beer in hand (classic!) and he said the right things and none of those “you must be an angel” crap.  He took one look at me and he knew what my favorite drink is.  If this is a sign of things to come, I should have replied to the messages sent by black men in my online dating site profile.

Fast forward to the following weekend, he picked me up in a black Hummer.  Now, the Hummer is a work of art.  But on a supposed fancy date?  I’ll be good in a Prius.  How can he expect me to get on the passenger seat in my tight and short (but classy!) dress?  It didn’t help that Jacob was just sitting on the driver’s seat and ogling at my breasts.  Come on!  He could have at least helped me out!

So he asked me where we want to go eat.  Really?  You’re asking me now?  He then told me about this awesome ribs place.  Now, I didn’t spend an hour putting on makeup and getting myself pretty only to be smoked like a slab of beef.  But being the polite little girl that I am, I said okay.

But I have to commend black guys in general.  They sure look good in a suit.  However, Jacob quickly went to the powder room to “freshen up” and he took about 15 minutes.  Now, I tend to believe that black guys are too conscious of their appearance.

So in between bites at the ribs, Jacob talked about himself.  This is something that I was warned about.  Believe me; I didn’t get a sentence in until dessert.  I couldn’t even get a word in while he’s drinking his Coke.  How could I if he had a hand up while drinking as if to say, “don’t talk”?

Overall, the date was a disaster.  Should I try again?  I probably will.  But I’ll probably go out with a black guy from an online dating site.  At least I get to check out his profile first.